qcknd:
I’ve never been an angry person. If anything I’ve always been painfully ‘go with the flow.’ I believe patience is my virtue and because of this I probably let too many things go. I was never an angry person. Sure I talk shit, and I raised my voice once in Chicago, but blamed the Philly in me and wrote it off. I feel it now though. The highs and the striking lows. I read earlier today that no generation is more in touch with their feelings than our own. But how can I let something out that feels so absolutely violent and unknown to me? The night Ryan died I rode to the river. I let it get dark, locked my bike and walked to the concrete edge. All alone I held my water, a whistle, and screamed into my sweatshirt, balancing myself over the edge. I cried and screamed until it was too dark to bike home. Since then I don’t know what transformation my soul has gone through. Why did I let hate in my heart? And how do I get it out? I don’t know.
